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Entries Tagged as 'Uncategorized'

smelly cubes

March 20th, 2010 · 97 Comments · Uncategorized


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A trend: the most awkward situations start with terrible terrible bodily odors that ooze from between the legs.
Take, for instance, work situation numero uno: an Eastern European girl who works on floor 4, 5, or 6 (they’re all the same company) (I work on floor 7) (it’s a different company). I was walking behind EE […]

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food stamps and skinny jeans go together like things that go together

March 17th, 2010 · 95 Comments · Uncategorized


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Last weekend, I was at Brooklyn’s medium-to-high budget version of H&M, browsing about, perusing the inventory. And I mean, nothing but filthy hipsters usually are skulking about in that place, but it was empty besides my friend and I, and also, of course, the workers.
Naturally, I started going on to my anonymous friend about my […]

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sorry, i mistook you for a person i see now that you could not possibly be

March 16th, 2010 · 114 Comments · Uncategorized


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A few weeks ago, I was on my way to the Side, you know on the Upper East portion of that island, to perform some freelancing duties (not anything dirty, unfortunately) and I was really excited. I was covering new ground! I was walking around neighborhoods and subway platforms that I didn’t often walk around! […]

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its been a long time (long time)

February 26th, 2010 · 117 Comments · Uncategorized


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Timbaland said it best when he said “I shouldn’t have left you (left you) without a dope beat to step to. Step to. Step to. Step to. Step to. Step to, fikky fikky uh.” Too much?
Anyway, the world is different now. I have a finer appreciation for unintentional hilariousness (not really). All at once, I […]

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What’s up SF! You’re totally not interesting. …and I’m lazy.

July 9th, 2008 · 123 Comments · Uncategorized


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To my masses of fans, I’m sorry. I feel terrible about how I’ve let you down lately. It’s just that [refer to title of post]. But seriously! SF is supposed to be home to freaks and geeks galore, astounding the masses with their hippy selves, right? And yet… everyone’s been so…  normal.
There was a guy […]

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creepy bus man

May 27th, 2008 · 99 Comments · Uncategorized


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So for whatever reason, I decided I was going to go home for Memorial Day weekend so that I could take part in drugs, booze, and other shenanigans, specifically sleeping and an overconsumption of steak. I know. I am truly risqué.
And for whatever reason, it takes the Greyhound about seven hours to travel what is […]

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home again!

May 9th, 2008 · 107 Comments · Uncategorized


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Sometimes, you know, judging a judgmental place is just as bad as the place being judgmental in the first place. Besides K*** H** is not judgemental. Avalon trade-buy-sell in Squirrel Hill (spelling ’squirrel’ correctly is a daily struggle. Perhaps this has something to do with the creepalcious squirrels that come thisclose to you at University […]

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***DISCLAIMER***

May 8th, 2008 · 108 Comments · Uncategorized


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THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. I DO NOT SANCTION, CONDONE, PERMIT, ALLOW, OR ENJOY THE PRESENCE OF THE COFFEE HOUSE WHICH SHALT NOT BE NAMED AND WILL HENCEFORTH REPEAT THIS ANY TIME IT IS MENTIONED.
K.V. IS A DISGUSTING GROSS DIRTY SLOW JUDGEMENTAL PLACE. I’D RATHER GO TO STARBUCKS. …But my heart belongs to 61C… LONG LIVE […]

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reversies

May 8th, 2008 · 94 Comments · Uncategorized


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Enough about people watching (jk-zors!!). But seriously. How about some reverse people watching for a change. It just wrought havoc on me!
IE, post eating-something-with-lots-of-spices, I am nervous that I have lots of spices up in my grills. That makes the following awkward things happen, in the following order:
1. Enter 61C.
2. Talk to JohnPaulcoffeeman, to hand […]

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warm weather confuses people

May 7th, 2008 · 100 Comments · Uncategorized


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I have a theory that goes something like this: people don’t know what to do with themselves when temperatures rise and the sun starts shining. They just get confused about what to wear, or who to be. It’s 76 degrees: I should wear jeans and a sweater right? I’m not even saying this is necessarily […]

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