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warm weather confuses people

May 7th, 2008 · 100 Comments · Uncategorized

I have a theory that goes something like this: people don’t know what to do with themselves when temperatures rise and the sun starts shining. They just get confused about what to wear, or who to be. It’s 76 degrees: I should wear jeans and a sweater right? I’m not even saying this is necessarily an uber negative thing, because I wore a hoodie today. You know, just in case.

And I’m rather confused too. I may or may not be sitting next to a female-to-male bonafide transsexual. I don’t want to stare more than I already am, people, but he/she keeps talking about how he’s part Syrian and part Italian, and his beard looks really delicate, like it was painted on. And gotdamn, his button up is crisp. And his/her face just looks like a face of a androgynous woman. And by androgynous, I mean, leaning more on the male side. And also not the hot kind of androgynous. God, I think I like the word androgynous.

I came here to do work and get ready for my presentation and crepes, and this fascinating real-life tranny is just distracting me. It’s so unfair. The only other real tranny I’ve seen is a male-to-female, and his/her name is Fergie.  And then there’s that dude here who dresses like a woman and dons a mock high voice and wears nothing but skirts and wigs. Maybe the three of these people should meet and have a party, as long as they invite me. So I can just be overcome with fascination.

Also tranny man’s life is sad. His siblings died when they were young without children. That sucks.

But if it makes you feel any better, this dude who looks like a Belushi brother reject is gettin’ down on a sandwich like a straight up HEATHEN.

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