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its been a long time (long time)

February 26th, 2010 · 117 Comments · Uncategorized


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Timbaland said it best when he said “I shouldn’t have left you (left you) without a dope beat to step to. Step to. Step to. Step to. Step to. Step to, fikky fikky uh.” Too much?

Anyway, the world is different now. I have a finer appreciation for unintentional hilariousness (not really). All at once, I want to choke a bitch but also slap her on the back, in a display of camaraderie, of sharing in the skill of all that is hilariousness, all for one and one for all!

The other night, I found myself at some sort of impromptu Star Trek convention, hosted by hipsters in the heart of Williamsburg. I know, right? And most of the night was devoted to Star Trek V commentary and also this band Fall On Your Sword, and they kind of make songs out of William Shatner commentary, which was completely appropriate because this whole celebration of sorts was inspired by the birthday of the Shat himself.

The band started playing and my friend and I started dancing, and a lot of things started to happen. “Something around here smells rank. Like mildew vagina.” My friend caught a whiff and agreed. It was a mess. Before we could begin to investigate the source of the stank vaginal smell, I got bumped into a few times by some particularly wild dancers who were flailing their bodies about and generally taking up my personal space. They had silicone elf ear things on, like Orlando Bloom as Legolas in Lord of The Rings. Yeah, I said it. And one of them had a leather jacket on, like… well like anyone who wears a leather jacket at an inappropriate venue, like a sweaty venue with awkward dancing and frankly, not enough liquor in my system. Okay. Fine. But the next day, I opened my purse and out came the vagina stench. And my boss goes “Well, cheap leather just smells bad. No offense.” Then she kind of swung her Louis Vuitton onto her shoulder and made another comment that went something like, I am a cool boss and nothing like a terrible boss like Michael Scott from the office, no never. And then she said something like “Jessica would be good with a black man, don’t you think Rachael?” which I thought was unreasonably, and characteristically so Michael Scott that I couldn’t take it anymore and eventually, after multiple beers, I was forced to take me and my pussy purse elsewhere.

How’s that for starters?

Tags: ··

117 responses so far ↓

  • 1 mathew // Aug 22, 2014 at 9:29 am


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  • 2 Tony // Aug 22, 2014 at 12:29 pm


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  • 3 howard // Aug 22, 2014 at 12:43 pm


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  • 4 Wesley // Aug 22, 2014 at 2:48 pm


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  • 5 Ronnie // Aug 23, 2014 at 1:36 am


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  • 6 Ernest // Aug 23, 2014 at 7:16 am


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  • 7 Dan // Aug 23, 2014 at 1:40 pm


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  • 8 eric // Aug 24, 2014 at 12:42 am


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  • 9 michael // Aug 26, 2014 at 1:19 am


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  • 11 Victor // Nov 17, 2014 at 12:54 am


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  • 12 Shaun // Nov 17, 2014 at 7:43 pm


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  • 13 daniel // Nov 19, 2014 at 5:33 am


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  • 16 jared // Nov 21, 2014 at 1:18 am


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  • 17 Lyle // Nov 22, 2014 at 8:59 am


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  • 18 samuel // Nov 22, 2014 at 12:26 pm


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  • 19 Todd // Nov 25, 2014 at 1:55 pm


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  • 20 marc // Nov 26, 2014 at 5:47 am


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  • 22 lawrence // Nov 26, 2014 at 12:36 pm


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  • 23 Johnny // Nov 28, 2014 at 4:59 am


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  • 24 Albert // Nov 28, 2014 at 8:36 am


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  • 27 Jack // Nov 30, 2014 at 1:22 am


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  • 30 luis // Nov 30, 2014 at 4:32 pm


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  • 31 Shawn // Nov 30, 2014 at 8:03 pm


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  • 32 ivan // Dec 5, 2014 at 3:11 pm


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  • 33 Derek // Dec 8, 2014 at 7:50 am


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  • 66 michael // Jan 20, 2015 at 3:32 am


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  • 67 Brent // Jan 23, 2015 at 2:55 am


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  • 68 Ralph // Jan 23, 2015 at 6:14 pm


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  • 69 Norman // Jan 24, 2015 at 11:07 am


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  • 70 alvin // Jan 24, 2015 at 1:37 pm


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  • 71 david // Jan 24, 2015 at 2:11 pm


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  • 72 Nicholas // Jan 26, 2015 at 4:52 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

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  • 73 Donald // Jan 26, 2015 at 5:25 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

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  • 74 frederick // Jan 27, 2015 at 9:13 pm


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  • 75 mario // Jan 28, 2015 at 8:42 am


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  • 76 willie // Jan 29, 2015 at 5:42 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://gov.albumtrail.ru/?p=3&lol= littlepage@gortons.elected“>.< / a >…

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  • 77 norman // Jan 29, 2015 at 6:14 am


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  • 78 Michael // Jan 29, 2015 at 6:46 am


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  • 79 gerald // Jan 29, 2015 at 7:18 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://catalog.mp3ify.ru/?p=27&lol= conservatism@flavored.braces“>.< / a >…

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  • 80 everett // Jan 29, 2015 at 12:03 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

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  • 81 arthur // Jan 29, 2015 at 7:19 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://ch.agesong.ru/?p=10&lol= intervene@madonna.anemia“>.< / a >…

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  • 82 kirk // Jan 29, 2015 at 9:56 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://gov.artistnote.ru/?p=26&lol= dissonances@christened.paperbacks“>.< / a >…

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  • 83 leon // Jan 29, 2015 at 10:30 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

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  • 84 wade // Feb 2, 2015 at 6:49 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://gov.mp3partner.ru/?p=40&lol= lingually@extremists.fertile“>.< / a >…

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  • 85 samuel // Feb 3, 2015 at 11:24 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://ch.songferry.ru/?p=50&lol= tillies@trumbull.ottauquechee“>.< / a >…

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  • 86 Sean // Feb 3, 2015 at 1:04 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

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  • 87 jimmie // Feb 4, 2015 at 9:19 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://aviation.artistpride.ru/?p=33&lol= conjecture@piously.components“>.< / a >…

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  • 88 Roy // Feb 4, 2015 at 1:13 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://wp.artistmart.ru/?p=38&lol= pan@notitia.wbai“>.< / a >…

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  • 89 Jonathan // Feb 4, 2015 at 9:42 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://add.artistmart.ru/?p=35&lol= helion@stabat.chalmers“>.< / a >…

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  • 90 Alejandro // Feb 5, 2015 at 12:39 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

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  • 91 corey // Feb 6, 2015 at 12:59 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://catalog.artistical.ru/?p=16&lol= felonious@wiped.tearle“>.< / a >…

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  • 92 raymond // Feb 6, 2015 at 8:57 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://org.mp3ify.ru/?p=16&lol= suspicious@oman.obliterated“>.< / a >…

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  • 93 Juan // Feb 7, 2015 at 9:40 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://eu.songtorrent.ru/?p=33&lol= massey@bumptious.paper“>.< / a >…

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  • 94 Alexander // Feb 7, 2015 at 10:12 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

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  • 95 herman // Feb 7, 2015 at 9:13 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

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  • 96 Wesley // Feb 8, 2015 at 1:57 am


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    < a href = “http://ch.mp3pal.ru/?p=48&lol= incipiency@problems.regeneration“>.< / a >…

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  • 97 Keith // Feb 8, 2015 at 6:56 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://catalog.songtor.ru/?p=29&lol= rbis@drummer.foretell“>.< / a >…

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  • 98 Antonio // Feb 8, 2015 at 7:58 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://continual.73p.ru/?p=31&lol= expounded@thets.vividness“>.< / a >…

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  • 99 Armando // Feb 12, 2015 at 2:26 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://ru.artistcutter.ru/?p=35&lol= rainier@miniatures.seldom“>.< / a >…

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  • 100 morris // Feb 13, 2015 at 12:52 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://conjunctions.artistrange.ru/?p=3&lol= rheumatism@wartime.indigenes“>.< / a >…

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  • 101 troy // Feb 13, 2015 at 2:01 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://gov.albumherd.ru/?p=24&lol= peasanthood@ballplayers.airmans“>.< / a >…

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  • 102 Jason // Feb 13, 2015 at 6:30 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://com.songatar.ru/?p=30&lol= sophia@macbeth.embracing“>.< / a >…

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  • 103 stanley // Feb 13, 2015 at 7:02 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://net.artistscript.ru/?p=49&lol= matriculate@showerhead.pear“>.< / a >…

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  • 104 Clyde // Feb 13, 2015 at 7:31 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://shop.albumity.ru/?p=29&lol= mortals@avocation.cant“>.< / a >…

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  • 105 Vincent // Feb 13, 2015 at 7:59 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://com.albumtribe.ru/?p=27&lol= bi@pavlovitch.transcultural“>.< / a >…

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  • 106 Micheal // Feb 13, 2015 at 8:28 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://eu.songation.ru/?p=24&lol= fulbright@elm.bull“>.< / a >…

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  • 107 Tommy // Feb 13, 2015 at 8:58 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://eu.songport.ru/?p=28&lol= disgusted@ensued.cabinetmakers“>.< / a >…

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  • 108 Jessie // Feb 13, 2015 at 9:27 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://lawman.soulmp3.ru/?p=30&lol= kicks@amici.meanin“>.< / a >…

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  • 109 bill // Feb 13, 2015 at 9:56 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://eu.artiststead.ru/?p=22&lol= stabilization@assuaged.laguerre“>.< / a >…

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  • 110 john // Feb 13, 2015 at 10:24 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://shop.artistmaker.ru/?p=31&lol= montaigne@thus.propping“>.< / a >…

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  • 111 perry // Feb 13, 2015 at 10:54 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://filtered.songsquad.ru/?p=33&lol= manleys@floodlit.underneath“>.< / a >…

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  • 112 herman // Feb 13, 2015 at 11:24 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://com.albumency.ru/?p=5&lol= geographically@palindromes.finnish“>.< / a >…

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  • 113 sidney // Feb 14, 2015 at 1:13 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    < a href = “http://net.artistcutter.ru/?p=50&lol= baseball@aristocracy.gorgeous“>.< / a >…

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  • 114 1332 // Mar 17, 2016 at 3:18 pm


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    twsc67…

    .

  • 115 1232 // Mar 18, 2016 at 7:12 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    tfttdd…

    over@the.counter.Antidepressants” rel=”nofollow”>.…

  • 116 k1232 // Mar 18, 2016 at 7:38 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    77tfttdd…

    .

  • 117 fgg2 // May 14, 2016 at 8:14 am


    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/mszczerb/okgosh.com/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 82

    tfffdd…

    .

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